'Time Out' Counselling

Counselling Lincoln, Scunthorpe - Hull - Grimsby - Gainsborough - Barton upon Humber.

When a client first contacts me for counselling, I take a few details and we arrange an initial session. This first meeting is something of an assessment for both of us. The client gives me an idea of their needs and expectations and I explain something of how I work. We discuss times, costs, cancellations and confidentiality. If we then feel comfortable to proceed, we have formed the beginning of what is known as a Therapeutic Relationship.


In the following case history the name and some details have been changed with regard to confidentiality.


Jack’s story:

When Jack first came for counselling he spoke of feeling extremely depressed. This he said was because ‘his wife had left him three years previously and he didn’t know why.’ They had been married for 30 years.

For several sessions Jack spoke about his background; a father who drank a lot, a sister that he rarely saw, another sister who was close and supportive, his wife who had left him, two grown up children that he didn’t see and his mother, who had died when he was very young.
Jack worked hard all week and spent time with his elderly father ‘having a drink’ on Saturdays. This seemed to be a problem with other family members, but Jack insisted that he just liked a few drinks at the end of a hard day’s work and on a Saturday. What was wrong with that?

It began to emerge that ‘just having a few drinks’ was costing him a lot more than money. On closer inspection of Jack’s drinking habits it became apparent that his family had distanced themselves from him because of his continous drunken behaviour. The drinking had got worse since his wife had left him and he recognised that he was now risking losing his job. His boss had been really supportive, but that could only be pushed so far.

Jack accepted that his drinking was a problem.

With this acceptance it became apparent that he needed a lot more support. He needed people around him to talk to that understood how he felt, who had been through the same difficulties as he had. He needed to be able to pick up the phone and talk to someone whenever he felt like drinking to drown his sorrows.

There are various agencies that help people with drink issues. Jack chose to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, as other options meant him taking time off work, which he didn’t want to do.
He began to pick up the pieces of his broken life and started to see clearly how he had pushed everyone away from him with his drinking. He was determined to stop now and build bridges with the people that he loved the most. His family.

Bit by bit Jack made amends, with his children, who came back into his life bringing the grandchildren (who adore their grandad,) his sister, who had supported him all the way through, and his workplace, who had kept him safe through troubled times. Also Jack’s doctor, who’s warmth and support kick started Jack’s recovery.

Jack has rebuilt his life and now looks forward to helping others through similar circumstances.

Jack has not had a drink for 18 months.


The following poem was written by ‘Jack’:

My loneliness has left me now,my tears have gone away
I now stand a proud man,and this is how I stay
I have come to terms with living..a life I never knew
And I understand my divorce from a wife that wasn't true

It took 3 years to get over it, I was in hell of a mess
But I have come through it now, it was such a gruelling test
Now I am a person who I wasn't before
I have to put the past behind me, I had to close the door.

I am so glad I did it, yes at times I was wrong
Other people told me, drinkers and hanger's on.
I have to remind myself the way I lived before
The drink and the lies I told have left me for ever more

I needed some professional help and it came my way
It's so nice to open your heart, they listen to what you say
I go to AA meetings now, I have a counsellor as well
I take every day a step at a time, to me, life is swell

I've been given a second chance in life
The Good Lord will help me succeed
One day I might be the one
Who helps someone in need.




For a link to Alcoholics Anonymous website and more personal journeys like this click here.